Who is the boss? How to break free from a mind that holds you back!



Our mind is there to keep us on track, to keep us within our boundaries. It likes the status quo because it’s comfortable; it’s safe. Our mind is our safeguard, it’s not the enemy per se.

If, however, you want to change something in your life, that same mind gets in the way.


How can you break free from a negative mind? How can you emerge victorious over a mind that holds you back?


Two elements build the framework for such a battle. If you want to overcome self-doubt and succeed in the long-term you need to implement these two things.


  1. Prove to your mind, that you can persevere through struggle. Find something that is difficult, something that is stretching you, that moves you out of your comfort zone. Something that may seem even impossible if you consider it at first. Go through it with persistence and resilience and you’ll shape your mind to not fear the “impossible”
  2. Flood your mind with positive thoughts. If you want to change your reality, you have to change your thoughts. Surround yourself with new thoughts, with positivism. Surround yourself with the language and the environment that is helping you to sustain your change effort. This new environment ultimately will become you. You will immerse within it and you will change.



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Hello everybody, it’s Tasso.




This is what we hear when we do something that is out of the norm. Sorry, I hope I didn’t scare you off with this. Our mind is there to keep us on track, our mind is there to keep us within our boundaries. It’s our safeguard, it’s not the enemy. Our mind is there to keep us where we are because it’s the status quo and it’s comfortable, it’s safe.

If however, you want to change something in your life, that very mind gets in the way.

I’m sure you’ve experienced this and am going to illustrate this a little bit now for you. I’m going to use a role play to spice things a little bit and to make it a little bit more fun.

Here is what I’m going to do: this is me [shows himself as he is], this is my mind [puts on a baseball cap], this is me [shows himself as he is taking off the baseball cap], this is my mind [puts back on the baseball cap], okay? Here is how it goes.

[Himself]: I think I’m going to quit my job and I’m going to do something that I’m passionate about, and I’m going to become an entrepreneur.

[As his mind]: What the f$*k is wrong with you? We talked about this.

[Himself]: I know, but I just thought…

[As his mind]: You thought? Don’t think! Thinking is my job. Man, you’ve got family, you’ve got obligations.

[Himself]: Yes, I guess you are right. Well, okay. Then I…

[laughs] This is what goes on in your mind all the time when you want to try something else. Your mind will get in the way and it will try to convince you not to.


Here is another example. I’m sure you’ve gone through this yourself. Here is what it looks like.

[Himself]: I’ve got to do something about this, I’ve got to go to the gym. This is ridiculous, it’s getting out of control.

[As his mind]: That’s my boy, we’re going to do this. Okay? Deal! We start Monday…next month.

[laughs] Okay. Trying to be funny a little bit here…

But you see, the mind is always there to find excuses. Our mind is there to remind us how dangerous it is on the other side. To remind us of the threats and worst case scenarios. Our mind is there to always tell us what we cannot do and what we shouldn’t do.

However, there IS a way to do things, there IS a way to change. Given that it’s so difficult to change, it just requires a little bit of effort. But you can do it as anybody can.




There are two elements that are very important if you want to make such a change.


Number one

The first thing is, that you’ve got to show your mind who’s the boss. Every time your mind tells you can’t do something, your answer has got to be, “Watch me!” That’s what your attitude has got to be.




When you pick up something that you want to do, then you need to be consistent. You need to find something that is difficult, something that is stretching you, that moves you out of your comfort zone. Something that may seem even impossible if you consider it at first. You need to go through this, you need to be consistent, and prove to your mind that you can go through this. This is what it is about.




I’m going to give you an example what happened in my case: I thought to myself that I wanted to work out more. I wanted to get back in shape, so I decided to do something about it. I didn’t want to go to the gym -I didn’t like the gym- so I decided to do Freeletics. I talked about Freeletics in another post. A whole body workout that you can do at home. It doesn’t require any machines, so that’s what I decided to do.

Freeletics is a high-intensity workout. I can tell you that at no point, I actually WANTED to do one of the workouts. It’s always been a battle. But by me sticking to this, by sticking to the promise that I did to myself, it improved. Now, of course, I got through the tough times and I stuck to the workout for two years. Why? Because I saw the results. It didn’t only change my physical appearance, it didn’t only change my body, it changed also my mind.

Another example: I wanted to change the way I start my day.

I used -as many other people- to wake up with the kids. You wake up at 7 o’clock, get the kids ready for school. It is a mess when you get up with the kids, the day is so reactive. It is loud, it is unmanageable almost, so I decided to wake up earlier. I decided to wake up at 5:00 AM every morning. I wanted to give myself space to prepare for myself, to be in a silent moment and start the day on my terms.

Now you might say, “Why not 6 o’clock? Why did you decide to wake up at 5 o’clock?” Well, as I mentioned above, I wanted to make things a little bit more difficult. I wanted to stretch myself.

Every morning when the alarm rings, I have the choice. I can tell myself, “You know what, let’s snooze one more time” or I can get up. Every day, I choose to get up, every day I beat my mind, I move one step closer to where I want to be. I move one step closer to the person I want to become.




This is why you’ve got to find something that is actually difficult for you, that you don’t feel like doing most of the time because only this will change you.

A final example: I must say, that I don’t do that myself, but many other people have gotten into a routine of taking a cold shower. They take a cold shower in the morning because of the health benefits, but what it ALSO does to them besides that, is that it shapes their mind. It shows the mind who’s the boss.

The mind surely keeps telling them, “Listen, not today. Today is a special day, it’s your birthday. Today is a Sunday. Today is a Saturday. Listen, yesterday you didn’t sleep well”.

There are all sorts of excuses, but, because you stick to your promise and you do it, you get to become a better person.

That was number one. The first thing that you need to do to force yourself in the beginning through something that is difficult. Honestly, I can tell you it’s not only going to be difficult in the beginning. It will always be difficult. But this is the struggle that you have to go through if you want to show to your mind who’s the boss.

How can you ease this a little bit maybe? How can you make it easier for you?


Here is number two

The second thing is, that you have to flood your mind with positive thoughts, with positive beliefs.

Because certainly, at the beginning, when you start, your mind is full of negative thoughts and negative beliefs. You might have come across Gandhi’s beautiful saying, that your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits will ultimately become your values, and your character, which will result in your destiny…your reality.

If you want to change your reality, you got to go back and actually change your thoughts. If your environment is all negative, you will get stuck in this environment. You need to flood your brain with positive thoughts. Maybe you have to read different books, maybe you have to watch different movies.




Here is an example of what I did in my case.

I decided to surround myself with positivity, so I stopped watching news. This created a little bit of a mess because my wife loves news, my friends love news and they couldn’t understand why I would stop watching the news. For me, as much as news are important, I don’t think they are urgent. I truly believe that, if there is something urgent and important, I will get it, I will hear about it. If we have a zombie invasion, I’ll hear about it. I don’t think that news are something that is super urgent.

People very often watch the news, because they want to be the first to comment on something, they want to be the first to discuss about something. This is the way how they socialize.

I decided to take news out of my way because it always made me feel very uncomfortable, when I saw all this negativity. News are never about positive things.

Second thing was, I realized that I hadn’t read a book in years. Maybe in five years, I have not read a single book. I wanted to tackle this. I always had the excuse that I don’t have any time. I’m too tired in the evenings. So what decided to do was to use the time that I have.

The time that was there for me, most unused, was my commute time to work. I decided to move to audio books. I did that and this changed me completely. This opened up my mind. I was exposed to new things every day on a consistent basis. I did this and I managed, from not reading any book in years to read three to four books a month. It was huge. So much new input that is now shaping my mind.

You know what it does, if you are constantly listening to these things, if you’re constantly surrounding yourself with positivity, if you are constantly putting yourself in an environment of the “new you” that you want to become?

Then this will become your “new you”. You will make your new thoughts a part of you. You will use the new language, you will immerse in this and you will change to become this new you that you want to create.

Finally, what I did was to start watching all these motivational videos on YouTube, throughout the day. In particular, however, in the evening before going to bed. Why?

Because, the way you start your day, as I told you in the beginning (being more active rather than reactive), and the way you end your day are critically important.

The thoughts that you end your day with, are going to be the thoughts that you are going to wake up with, because they are going to be in your head. Your positivism, your ambitions…everything that you put into your mind before you go to bed is important because this is what your mind will deal with while you sleep. You will wake up in a completely different state of mind than if you end up the day with something that is very, very negative.


This is what I wanted to share with you. Let’s recap quickly:

Number one was about you defining something that is difficult, that is not only possible for you but that stretches you and moves you out of your comfort zone. Do that and do it on a consistent basis. Prove to yourself that you are the boss and that you can beat your mind.

In order for that to come a bit more easily (that was number two), surround yourself with new thoughts, with positivism. Surround yourself with the language and the environment that is helping you to actually sustain it, because it’s not easy to do things that are difficult. If you want to succeed, you’ve got to sustain that effort, you’ve got to surround yourself with the new environment. This new environment will become you. You will immerse within this and you will change.


I hope this makes sense for you. These are the two things that changed my mind and my life big time.

I gave you a few of examples but when you look at those, you’ll see that they all fit into these two buckets. Doing something that is difficult and surrounding yourself with the positivism thoughts, language that will facilitate the change.

I hope this helps you, I hope this gave you some ideas how you can change something in your life if you are struggling with getting sustainable change. If you are struggling to become the person that you want to become but your mind always gets in the way and you find excuses.

Now, if you like this, I’ve got more for you every week. Subscribe to hear more. I’d be thankful, if you shared this, because then more people can get an idea of what they can do if they struggle with something.

Thank you very much for watching this video. Until the very next post, all the best.


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