If you sometimes struggle with your self-esteem and self-worth it is most probably because you allow external circumstances or other people to define your value.
External circumstances can change, something that can and will impact your sense of self. But your past situation doesn’t define who you are or predicts your future.
Other people can’t possibly know your potential and they most likely will judge your value based on what you can do for them. That has nothing to do with who you are or what you’re capable of.
What defines your value is YOU. It is your character, it is being you, being the best version of yourself. It’s your positivity in a negative world. It’s how you intend to have an impact on the world. It’s how you choose to show up in this world.
That is what defines your value. YOU simply are the greatest gift you can give to the world.
Watch the video above for the full lesson so that you can continue living as a role model!
Complement with these previous posts:
You are a role model – any time, anywhere!
Eight ways to feel good about yourself!
Who is the boss? How to break free from a mind that holds you back!
How to look back at your life to craft a compelling story!
Three things you should know about problems before tackling them successfully
Like this episode? Please share it! I can keep this blog and all my videos ad-free and sponsor-free ONLY because you share my work! Please share or subscribe to my YouTube channel, too!
VIDEO TRANSCRIPT AND QUOTES:
Hi, everybody. It’s Tasso.
I am sure you are familiar with the story of the professor who holds up a $20 bill in front of his students and says, “Who wants to have the $20 bill?” And of course, all the students say, “Me, me, me. Sir. Sir?”
The professor takes the $20 bill and crumbles it and asks the students again, “Who would like to have the $20 bill now?” And of course, the students again raised their hands and wanted to have the $20 bill.
Then the professor takes the $20 bill, throws it on the floor and steps on it. When he picks it back up with all the dust and mud and whatever else was sticking on the shoe, he asked, “And what about now? Who wants to have the $20 bill now?” And still everybody was raising their hands and wanted the $20 bill.
It’s a wonderful story to illustrate that whatever happens to you, it doesn’t affect your value that you have…but there’s a catch.
What the story doesn’t tell outright is that of course the environment can change which will have an impact on the value of the $20 bill. The banks can decide that all of a sudden $20 are not enough to buy a smartphone anymore, but maybe barely a slice of bread.
Though don’t get me wrong, I really like the story that I just told you. I love it because it illustrates perfectly the fact that your value is independent of what happens to you.
But it doesn’t explain everything and so it got me thinking. It got me thinking whom and what do we allow to attach value to us.
Some people might take their value from all their competencies and the skills they acquired. They have a PhD here or an MBA there. They pimp up their CV and try to become more and more valuable for the marketplace. But what if these skills are not relevant anymore in the marketplace? How does that make you feel about your value?
Other people take their value out of the fact that they’re the most intelligent or the funniest or the most beautiful or handsome person in the room. Now take these people and put them in a new environment where people are equally intelligent, funny, beautiful or handsome. How will that make them feel about themselves?
Or look at the following: if you consider the service that you provide to others, something that is really the highest form of being, what I would consider to be living a purposeful life by giving what you have to offer. Still, people can say, “You know what? Thank you, but no, thank you.” How would that make you feel when you actually are hurt on something that is so deep seated and part of your personality?
You see that you can never allow external circumstances to define your value. If you failed once or twice in the past or if you even constantly failed, if you’ve been beaten up by life, if people cheated on you, if you’ve been ridiculed or you’ve been bullied at school…that doesn’t define you. That doesn’t define who you are or predicts your future.
And as much as you cannot allow external circumstances to define your value, you also cannot allow people to define your value. Because people don’t know your potential. Nobody knows your potential. Even yourself, you don’t know your potential.
That’s why we are made by our creator to constantly pursue our boundaries, to push our limits and to explore what we’re capable of. People will always judge your value based on what you can do for them, based on what value you add for them. That has nothing to do with who you are or what you’re capable of.
What does then define your value? Clearly it has to be something that is intrinsic, something that nobody can take away from you.
I believe it’s your character.
It’s how you choose to show up in this world. It’s like Viktor Frankl, for instance, said in his very famous book “Man’s Search for Meaning”. For those who don’t know Victor Frankl, he was a Jew inmate in one of the concentration camps. He wrote his book after he was freed.
In his famous quote, he says, “Everything can be taken away from a man except one thing, the last of human freedoms. His ability to choose his attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose his own way.”
That’s what it is. It’s your positivity in a negative world. It’s how you intend to, how you choose to have an impact on the world.
Let me give you a practical example. If you’re going to a meeting, for example, it’s not the content that you’re going to offer that is adding value to the team. It’s the minute before the meeting when you sit down and say to yourself, “What am I trying to achieve here? How am I going to show up?” Because what matters is how you’re going to motivate and inspire people to do more than they think they’re capable of, how you can uplift them and how you can show them the possibility.
Or let’s take a personal situation, in your family life. It’s not the fact that you bring the money home that makes you valuable for your family. Because when you’re dead, the insurance will pay the money or the state will cover the bare minimum for the family to survive. But it’s your presence. It’s not the advice or what you tell to your loved ones. It’s your presence out of which your family members extract their confidence and the reassurance that everything is going to be all right.
In summary, you see that what defines your value is YOU. It is you being you, and being here, being the best version of yourself. That is what defines your value. That’s the greatest gift you can give to the world.
People will feel attracted to you if you radiate possibility, positivity, happiness and gratitude. But that’s not why you should be doing it, I mean to attract and influence people. It’s because you can. Because you’re wired to do that.
I would be curious; how do you define your value? Where do you get your self-worth and your value from? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
If you liked what you heard today, please click on the Like button. Click on Thumbs Up or on the small Heart icon. Depends really where you’re actually watching this video, on the blog, on YouTube.
And share it. Share it if you find it useful and you feel that other people would need to hear this.
Thank you very much for watching. Until the next post. All the best.