When we want to succeed at something, there are always multiple things we need to look at, various areas we need to consider.
Problem is, that from all the areas that can be and should be done in order to successfully tackle a particular topic, we ignore one or some. And the reason is that we either don’t know about them or we avoid them.
This can happen consciously or subconsciously; we avoid them because they scare us. Because they are out of our comfort zone, because we fall victim to the negative self-talk and all the doubts within our mind that keep us from doing great things.
Here is a way to address that:
- Create an overall picture of everything that needs to be done, a really honest inventory irrespective whether you believe you can do it or not.
- Identify those things on that list that don’t feel comfortable about, and risk to avoid. Dig deeper to understand the underlying reason or belief that holds you back
- Replace those negative thoughts with positive and empowering thoughts and replace the harming habits and behaviors with enabling behaviors.
Don’t let small excuses hold you back from making the big progress you could make. Understand what you’re missing, understand what is the underlying belief and then grab it by the horns. You can do this!
VIDEO TRANSCRIPT AND QUOTES:
Hi everybody. It’s Tasso.
Everybody has strengths and weaknesses. That’s no big news.
And my advice to people has always been to focus on their strengths and ignore their weaknesses. And the reason why I say this is because I truly believe that we all are equipped with a certain set of skills and abilities that if we would build on those, they would give us a competitive edge.
Rather than working on eliminating weaknesses which would at best get you a par, at the same level with other people. It would keep you at mediocrity rather than pushing you to excellence.
I believe that those people who made it have identified and focused on the one thing that really, really, good at.
So far so good and that’s still my opinion but as things are not always black and white, I wanted to fine-tune this advice, because as always…it depends.
It depends what you call a weakness.
To give you an example; clearly, if I would ask you to compete with a fish under water, you would suck at it because not only you cannot breathe under water, even if I gave you all the equipment, the suit of a diver etc., you would still suck at it because you’re not as agile under water as a fish.
It’s not your environment, it’s not your nature.
That’s not the kind of weakness that I’m talking about. This is going against your nature and sometimes in other areas against your personality.
But in many, many, cases the weaknesses we talk about are excuses. This is what I would like you to pay attention to, this is what I would like you to watch out for and observe for yourself.
Here’s what I mean by that.
When we want to succeed at something – in fact anything, there are always multiple things we need to look at and there are always various areas we need to tackle. It’s always like this.
If you want to lose weight for instance or if you want to maintain your weight or if you want to live a healthy lifestyle for that matter, you need to look at your sleep, you need to look at exercising, you need to look at nutrition.
You might do a hell of a workout every single day and get a seven to eight-hour rest every single night. But you might be sabotaging yourself on the nutrition bit.
That’s exactly what happens to me. I work out a lot, I try to get a lot of sleep every single night but I just love so much the cakes of my wife, so that I really screw up all the effort I put in with the exercising because I fail at the nutrition area.
Let’s take an example at work: you might be a maniac in the office and put in every day 10 to 12 hours of work, but then you ignore the other area besides your personal performance which is your stakeholder management. Meaning that you did not identify those people who should be informed about what you do, who should be consulted about what you do.
There are many other examples but I think you get the point, right?
The point is that from all the areas that can be and should be done in order to successfully tackle a particular topic, you ignore one or some. And the reason can be that you either don’t know about them or the reason could be that you avoid them.
This can happen consciously or subconsciously; you avoid them because they scare you. Because they are out of your comfort zone, because you have all the negative self-talk and all the doubts within your mind that keep you from doing this.
Now, in the first case, when you don’t know about them the solution is rather straight forward. You consult those people you trust, your colleagues, your friends to help you understand what your blind spots are. Blind spots in a sense that these are areas you are not aware of.
In the second case when it is about you avoiding them because of some self-limiting beliefs, I think you need to go through three steps.
Step number one would be to truly sit down and create an overall picture of all the things that need to be done and I mean here, a really honest inventory about everything irrespective of whether you believe you can do it or not. Just put it on paper, don’t worry about it.
Step number two is that you look at it and you identify those things on that list that fall into the second category which is that you don’t feel comfortable about them.
Then you dig a little bit deeper.
This can be alone by asking yourself questions, this can be with the help of a coach, the help of a friend but you need to dig deep and understand what really the problem is.
Is it for instance -in the case nutrition- that you believe it’s not good to throw away food so you eat everything?
Or is it about the respect for the person who prepared the food? You don’t want to disappoint them and eat everything?
Or in the case of the stakeholder management at work; is it that you are afraid to approach high level senior people? Is it that you are afraid of rejection?
What is it really that holds you back and what is the limiting belief, the negative and false belief that you have about this?
Step number three is that once you know what the problem is, you need to replace those negative thoughts with positive thoughts and empowering thoughts and you need to replace the harming habits and behaviors with enabling behaviors.
I know this sounds a little bit generic but this is how it is and I’m going to give you the examples on these two points that we discussed, the nutrition example and the stakeholder management example at work.
If you find yourself not tracking what you eat, something that could help is that you use a spreadsheet or an application on your smartphone to actually help you track what you eat.
If you find yourself mindlessly grabbing snacks, you might need to put them away, to make the access to them more difficult.
If you find out that you need some rewards on punishment to keep yourself on track with food, maybe this is the solution for you.
Example stakeholder management:
If you find it difficult approaching higher level senior people you can make it a 30 day challenge and say for the next 30 days I’m going to approach somebody above my level and discuss what I’m doing with them.
If the underlying belief is that you don’t feel you have the direct link to them, the network, then have somebody introduce you to that person.
If you fear rejection, you maybe have to just go for it and prove to yourself that it is not as bad as you thought it would be. That the person actually did not reject YOU (you have to dissociate the rejection from your person) but maybe just did not have time that particular day.
Because most of the time our fears and worries are based on anticipation and assumptions about the future which rarely have anything to do with reality.
Very often what it takes, really, is to do something and prove to yourself and prove to your mind that it is not as bad as you thought it could be. That actually the worst case didn’t turn out to come true and it’s less scary than you thought it would be.
Don’t let small excuses hold you back from making the big progress you could make if you would tackle everything, all relevant areas to get something done.
Understand what you’re missing, understand what is the underlying belief and then grab it by the horns. I know you can do this.
I hope this helped you. I hope this gave you some ideas where to look at when you feel you don’t make as much progress as you should be. You might be sabotaging yourself.
Circling back to what I started with, these are the weaknesses that you can and you should tackle because they are holding you back, because they are blocking you on your strengths.
If you liked it, please subscribe for more and until the next blog post all the best.